[Contribution] Is even a ‘hug’ message an affair?… The emotional connection defined by precedent is

Many people believe that cheating in a marriage, commonly referred to as infidelity, requires a physical relationship. Therefore, most people believe that if they only communicated without actually meeting, there is no legal liability. But the court's perspective is different. Our Supreme Court defines unjust acts that cause divorce and alimony claims as 'a broader concept that includes adultery, but does not amount to adultery, but is any act that is not faithful to the couple's duty of chastity.' In other words, even if there was no sexual intercourse, if an action was taken that broke the trust between the couple, this could be legally considered an act of misconduct as a violation of the duty of chastity.

The court's attitude was clearly revealed in a recent case I worked on. The client, Mr. A, was greatly shocked when he happened to see a message that his spouse shared with Mr. B, who was an acquaintance. This is because the spouse was expressing to Mr. B his dissatisfaction and difficulties in married life. The two seemed to have shared a deep emotional connection. In particular, the two people planned a specific meeting, and during this process, the spouse said, ‘Please hug me when you meet,’ and Mr. B also appeared to respond to this.

Accordingly, Mr. A filed a lawsuit against Mr. B, claiming alimony for incest. Mr. B protested, saying, “I have never actually met him and only listened to his concerns as a friend,” but the court ruled that Mr. B was responsible for compensation. Even if there was no physical meeting, the act of exchanging rational emotions while knowing that the spouse was present, criticizing the spouse, and building emotional bonds was viewed as a violation of the couple's joint life.

So what kind of actions will the court recognize as misconduct? According to precedent, the scope is quite comprehensive. Regardless of whether or not you are having sex, using nicknames such as ‘honey’ or ‘honey’ or exchanging explicit expressions of affection such as ‘I miss you’ or ‘I love you’ is clearly cheating. Furthermore, even if there is no physical contact, conversations containing emotional connection such as 'hug' or planning specific meetings are also included in the category of cheating. In other words, if you go beyond saying hello and share your daily routine and form an emotional dependence like a lover, it is difficult to avoid liability for damages due to illegal acts.

What you need to be especially careful about is cheating under the guise of counseling. A common mistake made in relationships with married people is crossing the line while listening to concerns about marital conflict. The court strictly distinguishes between the act of listening to a person's concerns as a friend and the act of narrowing the emotional distance by blaming the spouse. When the other person gossips about their spouse, agreeing to it and belittling the other spouse by saying things like 'I'm a waste of you' or 'I wouldn't do that' can be considered an act that promotes the breakdown of the marital relationship.

Therefore, when interacting with a married person, thorough care must be taken to avoid any misunderstanding when viewed by a third party. The most certain criterion is ‘Is it honorable to disclose the contents of this conversation to the other spouse?’ If you feel like you want to hide anything, you should recognize that the relationship has already exceeded the risk level and keep your distance.

Conversely, there are many people who have caught the circumstances of their spouse's affair, but hesitate to take legal action because there is no conclusive evidence to prove a physical relationship. However, the court comprehensively judges the emotional distance between the two people through various evidence such as KakaoTalk, text messages, and SNS. Even if the sexual intercourse scene was not captured, it is important to remember that if there are clear traces of emotional infidelity that betrayed trust as spouses in the exchanged conversation, the court will severely hold the person responsible.

● Contributions by external writers may differ from our editorial direction.

Gyeonggi Ilbo webmaster@kyeonggi.com

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